


Fall apart, come together.

by Opal_Lakes



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Anxiety, Cat's the glowstick, Coping Mechanisms, Dialogue Heavy, Fluff, Gem Fusion, Gen, Not Selfcest, PTSD, Set before SuF, Stef's human, Steven's a fusion, just two bros just vibin', little homeworld/homeschool is a thing though, no ships, video games - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-01
Updated: 2020-04-01
Packaged: 2021-03-01 01:53:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,384
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23427298
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Opal_Lakes/pseuds/Opal_Lakes
Summary: When the stress becomes too much for Steven to handle by himself, sometimes it was nice to simply stop existing for a while.Or; Steven's a special kind of fusion.
Comments: 10
Kudos: 207





	Fall apart, come together.

**Author's Note:**

> Shout out to my fellow retail workers at this time, you guys are incredible! To everyone else, pls god stay at home to protect the people that can't!
> 
> Note: I'm super dyslexic and tried my hardest to make sure there are no mistakes, but that's basically impossible for me so sorry if you find any obvious mistakes! I tried my best ♥

Steven slammed the door the second he stepped inside the beach house, standing in a growing puddle of rainwater as he stripped off his raincoat and boots, kicking them into a sad wet pile by the door. He trudged his way through the house, dragged himself up the stairs and sulked off to his room, kicking the door shut behind him with a huff.

He ripped off his damp clothes and dropped them in his hamper, snatching up a pair of pyjama pants that he had left on the floor that morning and a random shirt from his wardrobe. The clean clothes helped lift his mood somewhat, but that didn’t last as he stood in the middle of his dark room, listening to the rain as it hammered loudly against his window and couldn’t shake the growing feeling of discomfort.  He threw himself onto his mattress, face scrunched up as he sunk into his unmade bed and tried his hardest to ignore the uncomfortable tugging in his gut. His hands curled atop the bump of his gem, feeling the smooth edges of the stone and sighed.

He glanced at his little digital clock and 2:42pm blinked back at him and Steven paused.

The Gems wouldn’t be back until the evening, all three of them taking part in a special geminar about Era 3, a class that was meant to detail what happened after the war and up until the dawn of the new Era. Steven had been invited to speak alongside them, but the idea of sitting through a whole class talking about the rebellion and the fight against Homeworld was the last thing he wanted.

His fist curled tighter around his gem, staring at his clock for a solid minute, his mind reeling and stomach squirming before he let out a loud sigh. He let his eyes closed and let himself sink deeper into his bed, grip on his stomach growing slake as he sucked in a deep breath.  He held it for a moment, exhaling loudly before his body suddenly lit up in a burst of light, form flickering before it suddenly split.

" _ Ow! _ ” The glow quickly faded, leaving two slightly dazed boys, one spread out on the bed and the other crumbled awkwardly on the bedroom floor.

The one on the floor sat up, rubbing his head with a sour look “Why do I always get pushed off the bed? How is that fair?”

His companion turned to him, his blank pink face staring blankly back at him as he shrugged. The other huff and pushed himself to his feet.

“This is the second time this month we’ve split!”

“Can’t blame him” His companion sat up, body moving stiff and slowly while the other throw himself ungracefully next to the empty space beside him, the bed bouncing from the sudden weight “Today was stressful.”

The other huffed in response, rolling onto his back and burying his face into his folded arms.

“This  _ year  _ has been stressful” He mumbled “I just don’t like being apart from you Cat! It always feels so-”

“Hollow” Cat interrupted “I know.”

“This sucks!”

“I know, Stef.”

Cat raised his hand and set it atop the other’s head, fingers lightly combing through his dark curls in an attempt to soothe him. It didn’t take much, any contact between the two always gave them a spark of energy, a bubbling feeling that grew warm and comforting in their chests, and soon Stef had melted against his companion's side.

“You can’t blame him. He needed this.” Cat suddenly spoke up, his voice so comforting yet emotionless “We were bound to split at some point. Better now than in front of others.”

He shuddered in response, face twisting at the idea “I guess you’re right, can you  _ imagine  _ the Gems seeing us like  _ this? _ ”

Cat gave a shrug, the corner of his mouth twitching up slightly in amusement. His companion gave a snort, sharing in his counterparts amusement as he leaned his head against Cat’s side, feeling the strange warm buzz that radiated from his light form, something that had always brought him immense comfort.

“Well, at least we get to spend time together.”

Pink eyes stared at Stef, fingers pausing through Stef’s curls “We’re always together.”

“Not like  _ this _ ” Stef exclaimed loudly “It’s nice to actually be here and you’re there and I get to see you! It’s nice!”

“I-” Cat resumed stroking through Stef’s hair “I agree.”

Stef tilted his head to look up at Cat, stars in his eyes as his face split out into a wide grin. Cat did his best to recuperate the affection with his own, tiny smile.

“We have to fuse before the other’s get back though” Stef’s smile deflated slightly as he spoke, glancing towards his bedroom door with unease.

“We can lock the door” Cat replied.

“The door doesn’t make a lock?”

“We can barricade the door with the bed then.”

Stef pushed himself off Cat’s side and threw himself backwards, falling towards the headboard and falling into the stray pillows with a huff. Cat glance towards Stef, pupils as small as pinpoints as he stared at his human counterpart sulking to himself.

“Do you want to play a game?”

Stef shifted after a moment, peeking over his legs at Cat with narrowed eyes “Kinda.”

Cat watched as Stef scrambled back to his feet, bouncing his way off the bed and kneeling down in front of the TV. He messed around with the number of consoles that laid scattered around his legs until he picked out a game, turning the TV on and grabbing a controller before shuffling backwards. He pressed his back against the foot of Steven’s bed, settling in the space between Cat’s dangling legs.

“Do you want to play? This has co-op!” Stef nudged Cat’s legs, but his eyes were glued to the screen as it flickered to life, the menu of the game popping up as a cheerful little chiptune song played.

“I would rather watch you play.”

Stef hummed back and started the game, a colourful pixel background appeared on screen as Stef’s character enter the screen, a tiny little rabbit with a golf club. Cat watched as Stef ran around a colourful gold course, hitting golf balls across the course and chatting to the other cute character that danced around the edge of the map.

“Steven’s not very good at this game” Cat spoke up in his usual monotone voice, but Stef could hear a sliver of amusement in his words and giggled.

“Neither am I!”

It took 5 minutes of wild swinging and goofing around before Stef finally put the ball into the hole and cleared the stage, dropping into a brand new -and much more complex- course. Stef threw his hands up with a loud cheer , nudging Cat’s leg with his elbow to get his attention. Cat tilted his head down and offered the smallest hint of a smile, which made Stef beam back.

“Your turn” He shoved the controller into Cat’s hand, his smile falling as he blinked in confusion.

“I am content watching you play.”

“ _ Please! _ ” Stef flopped against Cat’s leg, eyes wide and watery and Cat was too weak to turn down the offer.

“Just one” Cat reminded.

“Just one!” Stef grinned.

The stage was far harder than the previous one, with multiple layers of rocky terrain blocking his path but Cat was as efficient as he could be, whacking the ball as hard as he could and running past as the happy little characters to where his ball went flying. It took him a few minutes before he finally got the ball into the hole, not doing much better than Steven or Stef.

He passed the controller back to Stef, who praised him for how well he did before taking his turn. It took him far longer to complete the level, with Stef occasionally offering him advice as they worked their way through the stage. Once the stage was cleared Stef pushed the controller back into Cat’s hands, the same wide-eyed looked begging him to play and Stef could not bring himself to protest.

They took turns on each level, struggling through each stage as they get more and more complex until they finally reached a course neither of them could clear. They passed the controller back and forth, taking turns on their attempts of finishing the stage before failing miserably and passing it to their counterpart. Cat suggested a different game, something that they were better at and wouldn’t get stuck every 10 minutes before Stef refused.

“There’s a secret friend at the end of this stage that gives you a golf club made of flowers!”

Cat sighed despite his lack of physical lungs and settled against Stef, leaning forward to rest his chin on top of the other’s head as he Stef bounce around the level, trying to hunt down his ball that had gone flying off the screen and off course. Cat zoned out, staring blankly at the screen as Stef chatted mindlessly as he messed around in-game, the silence the only response he got but never seemed to mind.

Somewhere behind them, Steven’s phone buzzed, a chirpy tune as it vibrated loudly and Cat sat up. He twisted in his seat and snatched up the phone where it laid forgotten behind them before shifting back into position, chin resting in Stef’s curls and he held the phone out in front of their faces.

Stef paused his game and looked up at the phone, Pearl’s face showing on the screen as her call, waiting to be answered. Stef squeaked.

“Answer it!” He gestured towards Cat and the phone.

Cat’s eyes narrowed at the screen “She will know I’m not Steven.”

Stef groaned, but reached out to take the phone from Cat’s waiting hands “What do I do?”

“Answer it.”

“I’ve never talked to Pearl before!” Stef practically screech, panic quick to set in as he stared at the vibrating phone “She’s gonna  _ know  _ something’s wrong!”

“Then don’t answer.”

“But that’s  _ rude! _ ” Stef cried.

Cat quickly took the phone back, jabbing his finger against the screen and dropped Pearl’s call before tossing it behind him. Stef gawked at him helplessly.

“What was  _ that?! _ ”

“I panicked.”

“That was rude!”

Cat shrugged, looking down at Stef with a look of disinterest and Stef could only sigh, deflating back against the side of the bed. Cat frowned slightly, hand moving to rest against the top of Stef’s head to slowly stroke back his curls “Sorry.”

“It’s fine” Stef exhaled loudly, tilting his head back into Cat’s hand “Could you imagine what would have happened if I answered her?”

“A disaster” Cat mused and Stef barked out a laugh, the heavy-weight of anxiety lifting from his chest.

“Such a disaster!”

They sat in silence, enjoying the other’s presence with the only sound that filled the room was the soft tunes of the game’s background music and the rain. It was still strange for them to be split, but being apart meant being able to be themselves with their counterpart, a short break from the stresses that Steven carried. It was certainly something they all needed, even if the whole process of splitting and re-fusing was a bit of a headache.

“We should fuse back” Cat suddenly spoke up.

Stef hummed back in reply but made no effect to get up, so Cat took the first step and pushed himself off the bed and back to his feet, waiting patiently for Stef to follow suit. Stef eventually got up and let Cat pulled him up with ease, flashing Cat a smile as he grabbed onto Stef’s other hand and rocked on the back of his heels, a smile identical to Stef’s growing on his pink face.

Stef threw himself forward with a laugh bubbling up from his chest as Cat caught him, taking a stumbling step back as he spun Stef around. They shared a laugh, carefree and light as they spun, Cat balancing on his heels as he clung to Stef, dancing around on the spot before the light encased their bodies. Their forms twisted around and shifted until the two shaped merged together and the light disappeared in an explosion of sparks, leaving Steven standing in the centre as he stumbled back onto his feet, chest heaving slightly and thought a jumbled mess.

His hands rested on his stomach, open palms pressed lightly against the gemstone as he took in a deep breath, the tension he felt before had disappeared, replaced with the usual warm and comforting feeling that lingered after re-fusing.

He blinked, hands dropping from his stomach and crawled onto his bed and scooped up his phone. He quickly unlocked his phone and opened his contacts, finding Pearl’s number and called her.

It rang once before Pearl answered, her voice had an edge to it as she greeted Steven, immediately asking him why he had dropped her call and asking if he was alright. Steven breathed in slowly, a small smile easing onto his face.

“Sorry Pearl, I was playing a game when you called and I misclicked, what’s up?”

_ “Oh”  _ She replied back, her tone becoming noticeably lighter  _ “Well I just wanted to call to tell you the geminar finished early and we should be home soon! Do you need us to pick you anything up for dinner? Have you eaten yet?” _

“That’s great!” Steven smiled into his phone at Pearl’s excitement “And no I haven’t eaten yet but I’ll be fine, I’m sure I can find something to eat.”

_ “Okay, well you can text me if you change your mind!” _

“Thanks, Pearl” He paused “I love you.”

_ “Aw Steven, I love you too, we’ll be home soon.” _

The call ended on that sweet note and Steven sat back in his bed, phone cradled in his hand, as that warm feeling that fluttered in his chest and stomach grew. All the lingering stress that had felt Steven tense and anxious had been pushed to the back of his mind, and Steven let himself fall backwards. He floated gently down onto his pillows with a sigh, staring up at his ceiling before he closed his eyes, listening to the rain as it lightly tapped against his window.

**Author's Note:**

> I currently have another SU story that's still kinda in the works but like...I can't go back to sweet wholesome kid Steven after watching the dude grow up and have a breakdown that hurts too much, so I wrote this!
> 
> There are not enough stories about Steven being a fusion cause that whole concept is wild?? I think I've only read two and that is honestly tragic so I'm throwing my hat into the ring.
> 
> Might write more for this/make it a series this was super fun to write but I don't really have any scenarios that I could write about, so if there's something you wanna see with this idea let me know! Love to hear it ^^
> 
> Thank you for your comments and kudos! I appreciate the support ♥


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